Life

Retracing Footprints: The Silver Lining

2009-08-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

The year was 1990. I was an undergraduate of the counseling program. During the beginning of my third year there was a hustle and bustle of who's assigned to which lecturer for our final year project paper. One of the assigned lecturers was someone who has just got back from the U.S. Words got around on how fierce he was, how indifferent and how unpopular he was among the seniors in the program. With all those information, I imagine this figure as huge, dark skinned, and with a fierce looking face that fits the description of my seniors.

When the list was eventually released, much to my despair, my name was matched to Dr. Othman Mohamed, the most talked about and unpopular lecturer who just came back from Ohio. Everyone wished me luck on my sudden fate.

I initiated what I wanted to work for my final year project paper way back during my first year and had an initial discussion with Pak Din (Now Tan Sri Nordin Kardi, the Vice Chancellor of Universiti Utara Malaysia). At this point I already have a few pages of manuscript written and thought I could impress this fierce and tough Project Supervisor.

On the day I was set to meet up with him for the first time, I went in to his room well prepared. My first shock was, his physique did not match my vision of him. He was extremely thin, fair and wears a reasonable facial expression contrary to what I have heard of him. The fierceness is a little diluted but the toughness still stands. He asked me a series of questions of which sort of depressed me to discover the huge gap of what I know and how much more I have to work on. He then took my manuscript and asked me to see him in a few days.

When I came back to see him again, I had a second shock of my life when he presented my work back to me with all the scribbles of his feedback on almost every single paragraph and every single page! Phew...that was a great deal to digest and my self esteem suddenly hit rock bottom. He did come from a different planet! It's called details. Under DiSC profiling, it's called Compliance, the Personality Plus(R) would term him as Perfect Melancholy. One who is highly structured, meticulous and will put dots on "i"s and crosses the "t"s.

Being young, at times I argued a great deal with him but at the same time feeling grateful that his stern and strict ways of dealing with me have taught me great lessons that are useful later in my life. I have great respect for him and eventually came up with a great piece of work. Upon graduation, I turned out as the top student in my class.

A few years after my graduation he published our article in a journal in 1994:(Othman Mohamed and Muhaini Musa, 1994. Patterns of counselling related problems in a Malaysian corporate setting. PERTANIKA Journal of Social Science and Humanities, 2, 2, 141-145). Dr. Othman also introduced me to his friend from the U.S., Dr. Mark Pope, now a Professor in University of Missouri in St. Louis. I worked part-time for Dr. Pope for a while. Thanks to Dr. Othman, in 2002 I was part of the writing team who contributed an article which was published in the Career Development Quarterly.(Pope, M., Musa, M., Singaravelu, H., Bringaze, T., & Russell, M., 2002. From colonialism to ultranationalism: History and development of career counseling in Malaysia. Career Development Quarterly, 50, 264-276). I went to visit Dr. Pope in San Francisco in 1994. He took my family for a tour in San Francisco to Lombard Street, Pier 39 near Fisherman's Wharf, Stanford University and University of San Francisco.

I then lived in Nashville, Tennessee for six weeks when my husband did a summer program at the Vanderbilt University and after that we moved to Greenbelt, Maryland when my husband pursued his Masters in the University of Maryland. The last time I met Dr. Pope was in April 1996 when I attended the ACA(American Counseling Association) Conference in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I came back to Malaysia in June 1996, joined DRB-HICOM in August that year and it was only in 2003 that I met Dr. Othman again for a discussion to submit a proposal to a client on EAP(Employee Assistance Program). We lost touch again until a few months back this year when the same client wanted me to do some training on counseling. I thought of partnering with him and he agreed.

Last week, we traveled and trained together in counseling for the client. It was amazing to discover the many areas of similar interest that we had. I have never known him in that light. When he first showed me his pictures of the clouds, I cannot believe that he has been doing what I did exactly each time I traveled, i.e. took pictures of clouds from the aircraft window seat. Next, it was the flowers, trees, sunrise, sunset and nature collection. We each have a Canon digital camera. The other discovery... he was into art, that he paints and he sketches. Hmm...I started oil painting on canvas when I was 19 and later learn art using acrylic, oil paint, water color, and pastel from a real artist. I did put up my work on ebay too. What are the odds of finding someone who has many similar interests as you? None, so far in my life...

As I looked back and had a conversation with him on our journey back from Kota Kinabalu, I told him how strange that sometimes when God presented a situation or someone we do not like, there was always a silver lining behind it. I now see the blessing and silver lining behind the cloud that was presented to me way back 19 years ago.

I had fun training, taking pictures, traveling to Mesilau Resort, Ranau and getting onto Jambatan Tamparuli, savoring the beautiful sunrise, sunset and scenery in Kundasang. The weather in Kundasang is awesome; just like the weather in San Francisco and some instances, like a cloudy day in San Francisco, Mount Kinabalu disappears amidst the fog. Most of all, I had a great stimulating intellectual experience in the company of my Mentor.

To my Project Supervisor, Lecturer, Co-Writer, Professor, Co-facilitator, and Mentor, Professor Dr. Othman Mohamed...with ultimate sincerity and deepest appreciation, thank you for everything. You are truly amazing!

Personality Plus Trainer

2009-02-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was researching on the latest articles on Personality Plus for my upcoming training session, I came across a moving statement that makes me feel so sad. I attended the Personality Plus® certification way back in the fall of 2000 at Sandy Cove, Maryland. My family came along with me to enjoy the fall foliage scenery and we stayed up till Halloween that year.

On the second day of my training when we had breakfast in the morning, we met Florence Littauer and she came to our table. Getting excited as she always did, she pointed us to Fred Littauer, her husband, a perfect Melancholy who was enjoying his breakfast at a table some distance from where we were seated. Marita shouted at Fred, “Fred, come and meet our friends from Malaysia!” I remembered the scene very clearly. Fred looked surprised, stopped eating, lifted his head to look at us and then continued with his breakfast. I understood very well that a perfect Melancholy will always finish what he has started, unlike Sanguines who may just stop and run over to meet new friends.

It’s been a few years since I last keep track of what’s happening with them. Today as I browsed through the web, I learned that Fred died in 2002, that is two years after we met him. May God rest his soul. Florence is still up and running. Back then when I looked at Florence delivering her presentation at the age of 70, I was motivated and told myself that I would work till I am 70 years old. She was so dynamic, so bubbly and has such a high level of energy. Most of all she is so humorous that you can laugh and fall from your chair listening to her stories.

Now that I am back in action, I would like to get back into sharing Personality Plus® with others through my training sessions. I would like to reach out to more people. The reason I took the Certification was to reach out to people who can afford to learn this concepts. Even though I am also certified in DiSC and other tools, they are expensive for me to administer to the layman out there. Personality Plus® is affordable to the larger audience outside the corporate setting.

I once gave a session to a group of women from the suburbs, mainly housewives. At the end of the session, a few walked up to me, with tears in their eyes to thank me. One of them said, “Thank you for sharing this. I now understand my husband better because he is a phlegmatic. “It gave me a sense of fulfillment and now I am ready to reach out to more people to make a difference in their lives.

High Performing Leadership

2009-01-14T18:56:00.001-08:00