A Walk In The Park

It has been months since I last had my regular walk in the park which is a mile away from where I live. This morning when I woke up, I failed the motivation test as when I could not find my pedometer; I quit making the move to walk. I ended up internet browsing and reading instead.

By mid-day my daughter and I went to watch the latest Disney movie, Ratatouille. It was about a rat having a strong passion to become a chef. There’s lots of learning in the movie, about living your passion, about no giving up and about standing up to what you believe in. As we walked out of the cinema, my 15-year old daughter, Adilah said that she would want to be a chef.

She has always expressed her desire to be a chef. Ever since she was seven, she started watching all the cooking shows, experiments some recipes and at one point even sold some of her culinary delights to her classmates. Watching Ratatouille reinforced her passion and by now she is very sure of becoming a chef one day.

When evening comes, I started to feel restless and decided to take a walk in the nearby park. I put on my sports attire, my walking shoes and drove to the park. My target was to hit 2 rounds which cover approximately 2 miles. As I hit the ground, I started to savor the scenes at the park. First I encountered people feeding monkeys. There must be more than fifty monkeys, some adults and some looked like they’re mere babies a few weeks old. They looked so cute running around and eating bits of bread from the kind visitors.

The shooting fountain at the lake was also a great view and there’s a group of people scooping small fishes from the pond with their little nets. I wondered what they would do with the little fish they caught. Taking the fish from their natural habitat would surely shorten their life span.

As I continued walking, I met Marilyn, a colleague at work. I was inspired when I saw her as I knew that she just had a knee surgery and she is already walking. I used to see her when I walked during weekends.

At one point, I started to talk to the trees from my heart, that I missed them and thanked them for still being there for the rest of the joggers. I used to walk before sunrise and the air was fresher in the morning. The smell of the trees is fresher and the fragrance of the flowers is truly remarkable at 5.30 a.m. When I passed the waterfall, I stopped for a moment to savor the therapeutic sound and vision of the water flowing into the lake with the fish swimming underneath it. The scenery was worth savoring for.

I walked for 45 minutes and today reached 6,946 steps on my pedometer. My ultimate goal is to reach 10,000 steps on a daily basis. I have led a very sedentary life and most days I would clocked in around 1,200 steps. Can you believe that? I have always been very tired and use the excuse as coming home late from work for not walking or exercising.

Today, I am grateful that I made a choice to begin my exercise by taking a walk in the park.

Meeting With A Millionaire

On Thursday morning, my part-time young driver sent me to a specialist. I was there a week ago. This time it was for me to take my blood test results. When the doctor related the results to me, it was like "The Day That Changed My Life".

I am not sure how to describe it but it was so real. My liver is swollen. That shocked me as I have no clue how it can happen. I have never consumed alcohol in my entire life, never had jaundice fever and never was on any liver medication. My blood sugar was high, my cholesterol was high and my white blood cells count was high which was termed as mild leucocytosis. Next, the doctor told me what I should eat i.e. fish and vegetables only and told me of the medication I need to take etc. When I was in the doctor's room lying down listening to him, it all happened so fast and I cannot recall how I felt. The doctor was good, he gave me assurance not to worry, he would give some medication and would see me again in three weeks.

A call was made to my part-time driver and as I waited for the nurse to dispense the medication, all that the doctor had just said began to sink in. I felt like crying as it dawned on me how serious my health condition was and I may not live very long. I knew and had been struggling to lose weight but I guess nothing ever hit me until I read those reports. Since last week, after my first visit, I had stricter control on my diet and I had lost 9.68 pounds. For a week, I had been cutting down on my food, limiting to mainly fish, chicken and vegetables. Each day, I got excited losing the pounds as I plotted my graph.

As I begin to worry about my condition, suddenly images of Hamu crossed my mind. She was our Call Center Staff who had liver cancer almost at the final stage where all the doctors told her she had a few more months to live. Whatever the doctors had said, seeing her was a different matter altogether. She appeared normal and excited and no one would guess how terminally ill she was. It's been two years since she beat it, got married last year and delivered a healthy baby last month. Images of her bubbly personality came into my mind. Her condition was far worse than mine and I then resolve that I can beat this too.

Even though at times images of defeat slide in, I kept thinking about the show I was going to perform on Friday in front of 100 audience. I planned to have an outstanding opening with dry ice for an Agency Executive Seminar in a hotel. Well that kept me going.

When my driver fetched me, he spoke about a millionaire he met the previous night and he was surprised the millionaire knew me well. Then I made a call to this young millionaire, Azman Bidin. I told him I wanted to see him. He agreed and we met at 8.30 p.m. Two young man and another friend joined us. It was inspiring to see him and how he has grown. He spoke a great deal on the mindset, what it takes to be successful and shared with us his experience and even his dreams. It was uplifting to see him speak. Anyone who sees this frail looking man who is exceptionally thin wouldn't guess that he is so powerful, so influential, so passionate yet so humble in his ways. We were with him for 3 hours and at the end of the session, the two young man who came with me shared their excitement to jump in the business with the millionaire. I, too am so impressed with him as I once knew him as a staff in an Audit Department from the same company where I once worked. Both of us had left that company.

After my meeting with him that night, I forgot about my condition, reached for my computer as soon as I got home, worked on my presentation materials and went for slumber at 2.00 a.m. Yesterday I woke up at 7.00 a.m., switched on my computer and did my finishing touches on my slides.

I had a great session where I managed to mesmerize my audience with my story about the boy who shocked Harry Houdini with a magic trick. I did the magic trick in front of the audience where I held a scarf, then picked a watch from a lady, put it under the scarf, got a person from each table to touch the watch and then went up to the front to show the full visibility of my next move. I then swing the scarf around and showed them that the watch had disappeared! Half of the audience stood up wondering what had happened and how I did it. I turned the pockets of my jackets out so that they could see that I did not hid it anywhere in my jacket. Then I told them that I couldn't share with them how it was done and I said,"It's called 'Job Security'!". The audience laughed. The experience was truly fulfilling. Of course, I learned all that from my own learning investment attending the American Society for Training & Development Conference in Orlando, Florida in June, the year of September 11 incident. I created myself to be exclusive just as what Azman, the Millionaire said that being exclusive is key in becoming a successful person.

Hence, my night with the millionaire was a night to remember as it happened on The Day That Changed My Life!

Silver Anniversary

Today, I am grateful to be alive to celebrate my 25^th wedding anniversary. Yesterday, my daughter arrived from Arizona, enduring 19 hours of a long haul flight. She read Harry Potter cover to cover three times, did some calculus, and chatted with a passenger from California whom she did not even bother to ask his name. It felt good to see her again after leaving her in Arizona early this year.

Last night she wanted to see her cousins (the children of the late Rusina). It felt so sad that she did not make it to see her. One of the main reasons to bring her home at that time was to see the late Rusina. We brought chocolate brownies as a memento of my silver anniversary last night to see them. We had dinner together with the rest of the extended family. As we finished dinner, we cut the brownies and distributed to them. Then the late Rusina’s husband slowly mentioned to us that he thought he would be able to reach his 25 years of marriage next year.

Hearing him made me realize how precious life is and how blessed my life is.

Looking at the other side of it, in fact he is much, much better off as he has eight wonderful children and they are very well-mannered. The eight children are well bonded. They love each other very much. I was happy that I spent my time with them last night.

Today, my husband bought me a Nokia E90 communicator! I am grateful for this gift of abundance. Being someone who is so into gadgets, I bet my colleagues in the office will definitely ask me the same question of how many cell phones I own. In fact I have a few. After a series of Nokia and then Nokia 9300 communicator, I use the Motorola 3G and at times Huawei 3G. Since I am into 3G connection, I thought that my next move is the E90 that is a communicator, with 3G capabilities, wifi, radio, camera, video, wireless presenter and so many other extra features that I am yet to explore.

Today I thank God for the abundance that flow into my life and tonight ends well with dinner at my sister’s place with my brother-in-law who showed me his red Nokia E90.

Making a Difference

Yesterday was a heart-wrenching day for all of us. The late Rusina’s children stayed up all night for her the previous night, surrounding her with prayers for her soul. All eight of them stuck together around her bed facing her cold lifeless body. It would break anyone’s heart to see the pain in their eyes.

It was also far too painful for her parents who were together with her children. This is the third time they lost a child. The first was their first born son, who left this world due to high fever at a very tender age. Ten years ago, Ani who had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) passed away when she was 25. She was diagnosed of leukemia when she was 16. She went through rounds of chemotherapy and radiation therapy for a year. After that, she recovered and led a normal life for 10 years finishing high school and went to college to pursue her undergraduate studies. It was before her final year that she relapsed. She went through another round of treatment but it was too late as her body had weakened. Now, ten years after her passing, her eldest sister had Acute Myeloid Leukemia which took her within a month and was buried next to her yesterday.

For the late Rusina, many came to visit her. What touches everyone was the fact that four school buses of her students came to see her for the last time and prayed for her. It was a traumatic time for her children as they wept uncontrollably as they prepare to carry her away yesterday at noon.

She must have touched hundreds of lives. Her children, her parents, her siblings, her nieces, her nephews, her relatives, her friends, her colleagues, her business partners, and even the bus driver who sponsored the trip for the students to see her. She must have made a difference in his life too.

Today, July 24, 2007 is a very sad day for all of us.
Today, we were supposed to get the blood match so that a stem cell transplant can be done to save her life. The plan was to take her blood sample today at 8.00 a.m. and then all siblings will gather in another hospital at 9.30 a.m. to have their blood samples taken so that a match is sought. In a week, the results will be released and the right donor is identified. It will then take a further 6 weeks for the stem cells to be cultured and then transplanted into her body.

Today no one knows whose blood is the exact match for her, as today she is no longer with us.
Today, she has left us and God had spared her the suffering and pain.
All of us shall now begin our healing by staying strong.
We shall keep memories of her close in our hearts as she had made a difference in our lives.

Life is so precious

A month ago, I received a call from Ann informing me that her older sister was warded in a hospital an hour away from where I live. As usual, with my hectic schedule, things had to run as scheduled and I ended up traveling to visit her after midnight.

I reached the hospital and was stopped by the guard at the door. She looked fierce and said I could not get in. I told her I came from far and my sister-in-law had leukemia and I needed to see her. I managed to get in and sat down with my sister-in-law for more than an hour that night. I tried to motivate her and told her how important it was for her to visualize that she is going to get better. That she had to be strong for her children.

She had 8 children ranging from 5 to 24 years old. Her husband is a teacher. What moved me most that night was when she shed tears and told me that her children needed her. I kept trying to motivate her that she must be strong for them. That night made me think how precious life is.

At that point her platelet count dropped to 9000. A healthy platelet count is between 150,000 to 450,000. When I called my sister who is a doctor, she told me that at 9000 it was a condition when all the internal organs are already bleeding. The best part was there was no sign that her condition was that bad if we see her from the outside. She could still talk, walk and move around.

I did not get to visit her very often, only during weekends. Last weekend I was training off site and did not have the opportunity to see her. During the week, Syazwana, her daughter asked me whether my husband can spare a day this upcoming week to get blood samples to find a match. We later agreed on July 24th, 2007 to gather all siblings and get the blood samples to be matched against hers. The plan was the hospital would take her blood sample on July 24th at 8.00 a.m. to be taken to another hospital and the rest of the siblings will gather together at 9.30 a.m. to have their blood to be analyzed for an exact match to hers. The best bet would be siblings and not children. What they would do next is to culture the stem cells (which would take six weeks) and then transplant the stem cells into her body so that she would recover. Initially the date was set at August 6th but I guess the doctors discovered that it's getting far more urgent and they were running out of time since all blood transfusion and platelet transfusion did not help in getting her platelet count to rise above 9000.

Yesterday, we went to visit her. I have not seen her for two weeks. The moment I walked in her room, I saw that she looked far worse than the last time I saw her. My tears just welled up my eyes and there was no way that I could control it. I then spotted the swollen toe and red spots on her legs. When I asked Syazwana why, she said it was rashes. As she told me that her platelet count was 2000, it dawned on me that it was not rashes but her blood cells had ruptured internally. I knew deep inside the magnitude of her condition. As usual, I gave her words of encouragement. As the family members gathered around her, one of her sons said,"Mom, when you get better, we can go for a holiday." That was so touching to me as I could sense how slim that hope was. I left her yesterday at 8.00 p.m. after sharing her condition with other siblings.

Today, we planned to visit her after our Asr prayers. By 5.10 p.m. we received a called that she has left this world for good. It came as a shock to us. Like zombies we packed and got ready to go to the hospital. At the hospital lobby, we bumped into her sons carrying items and walking like zombies looking down with somber expressions and oblivious of our existence. It was so very sad to see the pain on their faces.

As we reached the 6th floor, they were on their way with her body to be taken to the mortuary. We followed them in the huge elevator and later waited for about an hour before the van arrived. Iskandar came to be with us and helped carry the body into the van. That was thoughtful of him.

When I thought about all these, that she was warded a month ago, was in the hospital all the while and never came back home until today, a lifeless body leaving behind 8 children, it dawned on me how precious life is. With each minute that I am still breathing and able to see the greatness in every single living thing in this world, I thank God for this great blessing.

May God bless her soul. Let us all pray for her. Al-Fatihah to the late Rusina Yusoff.

Surprise Blog Reminder

As I reached my car, I saw a note on my windscreen. It read,"Have you updated your blog?" I smiled to myself as I knew there could be only one soul who would care whether I update my blog or not.

I used to remind this bright and intelligent young man to update his blog. It seems that lately he updates his blog regularly. Once when I shared this with him about our roles being reversed, he said it's a check and balance for me.

Being a trainer, I am fully aware of the fact that people say that you tend to preach the lessons you need for yourself. I believe that this is very true. Sometimes my past participants would quote exactly what I have said word by word right in my face.

For today, I would like to thank this young man for the reminder. May God bless you with great abundance in your life.

Anyone Can Paint

Yesterday was a day for kids in the office. As part of the action plan to make our workplace more caring, we organized a day for the children of our employees. They brought their children ranging from 4 to 17 years old to the office and we had activities for three different age groups 4-6 , 7-12 and 13-17 . In the morning as we started out with the opening session, they did the Chicken Dance, there's a Magician performing and then it was the breakout session for the 3 groups..

I handled the 13-17 years age group. For my group, we had earlier planned many activities for them like Train Station, 100-meter race, James Bond 007 and Dancing Board. As we started the Making Flag activity, we underestimated this group. They took more than an hour just to make the flag. In our normal teambuilding activities for adults, they got it all done plus the group cheer in 20 minutes. In the end, we did not get to experiment the activities we had lined up for them.

After lunch, I taught the group acrylic painting on canvas board. I introduced to them that anyone can paint. When they did their flag in the morning, I did a piece on sunset using acrylic paint. That was a strategy to create their interest. As I took them through the techniques, it was amazing to see their work of art unfolding right before my eyes.

In the beginning, most of them said they could not paint. I told them I once failed in my art test when I was 15. Even though I failed that test at that time, I strongly believe that I can paint. When I was 19, I learned oil painting from an art teacher by accident. Perhaps God sent him to me. He even taught me how to make canvas base using pearl glue and emulsion paint. I stopped painting after that.

A few years back I went through a 3-month art classes by an artist. I attended with a friend and my two daughters. We learned how to paint using oil, acrylic, water color and we were introduced to pastel art. Since then, it's been a long while I have not held a brush until the last 2 days. I felt so inspired sharing my skills with the kids. It was a day that ends beautifully for me savoring the masterpiece by each kid.